哪些下意识动作会让你的求职面试扣分?
哪些下意识动作会让你的求职面试扣分?
When it comes to job interviews, you'd be right to presume your stellar CV, personal presentation and, more importantly, how well you answer questions could land you the position.
谈到求职面试,精彩的简历、个人陈述和最重要的问答环节的确可以帮助你获得目标职位。
But your mannerisms and gestures could be holding you back. In fact, they can reveal much about you, even if you don’t want them to — both positive and negative. And, most of the time we don’t even realise we’re doing them.
但你的言谈举止和手势动作却有可能给你扣分。事实上,无论你愿意与否,这些细微之处都会透露出很多重要内容——有的是积极的,有的是消极的。而且,我们多数时候甚至都没有意识到自己存在这样的行为。
Conscious or unconscious, repeated behaviour like batting your eyes, twisting your ring or touching your hair, may influence the recruiter on the other side of the table more than you think. As Isabel Schuermann, an image consultant and etiquette trainer based near Frankfurt, says, “Your body cannot not communicate.”
无论是否有意为之,眨眼睛、转戒指、摸头发等反复出现的行为对桌子对面的面试官产生的影响都有可能超出你的想象。正如法兰克福附近的形象顾问兼礼仪培训师伊莎贝尔·舒尔曼(Isabel Schuermann)所说:“你的身体总是不由自主地与人交流。”
A lack of eye contact, for instance, may send a signal that you’re hard to trust, or a foot turned inward might suggest you’re insecure.
例如,缺乏眼神交流可能释放出一个信号,让人感觉你不值得信任,而双脚脚尖内收也可能表明你缺乏信心。
When two executives worked with a coach to improve their interviewing skills, they saw themselves on video as “bobble-headed” job candidates during a mock interview. Janice Burch, the career coach, said the executives were “absolutely blown away”. Burch, who is the co-owner of Pro Resume Center in the Milwaukee area in Wisconsin, in the US, recalls, “I think we got up to 300 head nods for one executive in half an hour.”
当两位高管向一位教练请教如何提升面试技巧时,他们通过视频发现自己在模拟的面试中成了“不停点头”的求职者。美国威斯康星州密尔沃基地区的职业教练珍妮丝·博奇(Janice Burch)表示,这两位高管“着实令人震惊”。她回忆道:“我觉得每位高管在半小时内点头的次数都接近300次。”
As part of her work preparing people to move up a rung on the career ladder, Burch shows clients the mannerisms and gestures they may not even know they have.
由于她的工作内容之一就是帮助人们在职业道路上更上一层楼,所以博奇会向客户展示他们或许浑然不觉的举止动作。
The good news is that you can rid yourself of unwanted mannerisms and behaviours. Like with the two executives, awareness is the first step. But, be warned, it’s harder to tame those quirks when you're nervous. Here’s what you can do:
好消息是,你可以通过自己的努力摆脱这些多余的行为动作。就像上述两位高管一样,第一步是意识到这个问题。但需要注意的是,在你感到紧张的时候,驾驭这些怪癖的难度就会增加。你可以采取以下措施:
Facing your quirks
面对自己的怪癖
Once you’ve acknowledged your mannerisms, it’s time to curb them. Perform role play and practice speaking to an interviewer until the nervous gestures are under control. For instance, you may reduce the amount of time you spending cracking your knuckles, picking your cuticles, or staring down your conversation partner. Others suggest acknowledging your quirk when it arises.
一旦你承认了自己的怪癖,就该主动改掉这些习惯。可以进行角色扮演,练习与面试官的对话,直到能够真正控制紧张的手势。例如,你可能应该少花些时间来掰手指、揪指甲小皮或低眼凝视自己的谈话对象。还有人建议在怪癖出现时主动承认这些问题。
Daniela Lehmann-Stein, who leads a human resources team at Nielsen in Frankfurt, says that while she's had interview training, she resists checklist-style thinking in which she mentally ticks off a box that says “no annoying quirks or mannerisms.” Instead, Lehmann-Stein, who has hired dozens of people during 17 years in HR roles in multinational companies, wants to get to know a candidate and see how the person handles the situation if something becomes distracting.
丹妮拉·莱曼-斯登(Daniela Lehmann-Stein)在法兰克福担任尼尔森公司的人力资源团队主管。虽然接受过面试培训,但她却不喜欢在脑海里形成一份虚拟清单,逐条考察面试者的状况,例如:“此人没有令人讨厌的怪癖。”相反,在17年人力资源生涯中曾经招募过数十人的莱曼-斯登希望能够了解求职者,看看他们在注意力被分散的情况下如何应对。
“Authenticity is very important. If someone describes him or herself as very open and then at the same time he or she is sitting in a very closed position, with shoulders and arms very tight to the body, then this would come across as a contradiction. But it’s not like I’m screening the candidate all the time trying to detect mismatches,” she says.
“真诚非常重要。如果有人把自己描述得非常开放,但实际上却处在非常封闭的状态,肩膀和胳膊都紧贴着身体,那就会言行不一、自相矛盾。但这并不意味着我会随时通过各种细节来寻找求职者的矛盾之处。”她说。
At the same time, Lehmann-Stein says she’s often impressed when people openly address a physical reaction they may be having in a certain situation.
与此同时,莱曼-斯登也表示,如果有人公开谈及自己在某些情况下可能出现的生理反应,往往会给她留下深刻印象。
“Sometimes it’s helpful to be aggressive about it. If I know that I get red spots on my face or neck when I’m nervous, and this concerns me, then I could address it and say, ‘Even though I am blushing now, I am not as easily shaken as it may seem. I have been able to demonstrate my resilience in various situations.’ It may be helpful to address it and get it over with it instead of thinking, ‘Oh, am I blushing now, do they see it?’” Lehmann-Stein says.
“有时候,激进一点反而有帮助。如果我知道自己在紧张的时候会面红耳赤,而且会令我感到担忧,那就可以直言不讳地说,‘尽管我现在有点脸红,但我其实并不像表面看起来那么容易害怕。我已经在很多情况下证明了自己的适应能力。’如果能够直截了当地提出这些问题,并主动解释清楚,便会很有帮助,而不应该心想:‘我现在脸红了,他们看到了吗?’”莱曼-斯登说。
Likewise, if that quirk you have cannot be cloaked, perhaps the best way to handle it is through humour. “I wish that candidates would be more authentic and more courageous in these regards,” says Lehmann-Stein. “It requires a certain degree of self-reflection in order to be able to present myself – quirks and all. If I know I have a tendency to bat my eyelids quickly, I can handle it in a humorous way.”
类似地,如果你的怪癖无法隐藏,那最好的应对方法或许就是幽默。“我希望求职者能在这方面表现得更加真诚,更加勇敢。”莱曼-斯登说,“这需要通过某种形式的反省来展示自己——包括怪癖和各种各样的特征。如果我知道自己喜欢频繁眨眼,那就可以用幽默的方式来应对此事。”
Why we do it?
心理因素
Nervous gestures often have a psychological origin, Burch says. In other words, if you can identify the cause, you can minimise the unwanted mannerism. For instance, sometimes the cause is insecurity from not feeling prepared, Burch says. She has seen how some clients have overcome this by being well prepared for the interview. “This will make an enormous difference in your overall presentation when you’re in the interview,” Burch says.
博奇表示,紧张的手势往往源自心理因素。换句话说,如果你能够找到问题的根源,便可尽量减少不必要的行为动作。例如,有的时候是因为感觉自己准备不充分而引发的不自信。博奇曾经见过一些客户通过充分准备面试克服了这些问题。“这会对你的整个面试陈述产生重大影响。”博奇说。
The overall impression you leave will most likely be stronger than the lingering memory of a particular mannerism, Schuermann says. Your interviewer's main concern isn’t how and why you rub your hands together frequently. It's how you will represent the company with your complete package of talents, skills, and yes, even quirks.
舒尔曼表示,你给面试官留下的整体印象往往比某些行为举止产生的强化记忆更加深刻。面试官担心的主要问题并不是你为什么频繁搓手,而是你如何通过才华、技能甚至各种怪癖来展现公司的形象。
The whole package
整体形象
If you’re lucky, you might get an interviewer like Schuermann, who looks at the candidate as a whole. “You should never ever interpret just one gesture. You need four to five clues to come up with an interpretation,” Schuermann says.
如果幸运的话,你或许会碰到舒尔曼这样的面试官,她会以整体视角来看待求职者。“你不应该只关注一个手势,而是应该通过四五个线索来进行解读。”舒尔曼说。
Long interested in body language, Schuermann recently took a course about interpreting micro expressions on the face, something she incorporates into her interview technique. She will purposefully ask questions, such as, “I have just seen in your face this and that, and from my point of view, it seems you have some doubts.” This allows Schuermann to engage the other person in a conversation about what it is he or she would really like to communicate.
舒尔曼一直都对肢体语言很感兴趣,他最近还参加了一门解读细微面部表情的课程,并将此融合到自己的面试技巧中。她会故意提出相关问题,例如:“我刚刚看到你做了这样或那样的表情,在我看来,你似乎有一些疑虑。”这让舒尔曼可以在对话中针对他人真正感兴趣的问题与之展开互动。
In the end, most decisions to hire are based on a wide range of factors. Recalling her days in HR, leadership, and development at Deutsche Bank in Frankfurt, Schuermann says, “The candidate who got the job was not only brilliant in the technicals but was good in personality, knew how to engage in small talk and understood how to manage people and communicate with charisma.”
归根到底,多数的招聘决策都取决于众多因素。回忆起自己在法兰克福的德意志银行从事人力资源、领导和开发工作的日子时,舒尔曼说:“被录取的求职者不仅在技术上十分优秀,而且拥有很好的个性,他们知道如何与人攀谈,也明白如何利用领袖气质管理下属、与人沟通。”