好英语网心想事成的三大秘诀
Do you know someone who seems to be on a life-long lucky streak?
你知道有人似乎一辈子都福星高照吗？
You're familiar with the type: the person who makes a random comment about how one day they will run a certain company, or get a promotion that seems out of reach, or be awarded a plum assignment abroad. And then, they do — often against all the odds.
你会很熟悉这样的人：他们会随意谈起自己将来有一天要经营某个公司、或是获得似乎遥不可及的升职、抑或是得到一份国外美差。然后，虽然往往困难重重，但最终他们美梦成真。
These people make it seem really easy to get the things they want in life. But in truth, they've much more likely mastered a thought process and a plan of action — a mix of reality and subconscious thought. They have become masters at asking – and, thus, ensuring that they receive.
这些人在生活中似乎很容易就美梦成真。但是，事实上，他们更可能掌握一种思维流程和行动计划——让现实与潜意识思维交融在一起。他们善于提出要求，因此也就确保自己能如愿以偿。
For most of these master askers, the skill seems to come naturally. But for the rest of us, there are ways to train your thinking to better manifest what you want and make it far more likely to happen.
对大多数善于提出要求的人而言，使用这种技巧似乎是自然而然的。对其他人而言，也可以通过若干途径训练自己的思维，更好地表达自己的愿望，使之更可能变为现实。
Visualise
大胆想象
For starters, you need to know exactly what you want — down to specifics. Master askers always seem to have a way of pinpointing their desires articulately and clearly, both to themselves and to others.
首先，你需要确切知道自己想要什么——务必要具体。善于提出要求的人似乎总能设法精确定位自己的愿望，无论对己对人都不例外。
Jon Staenberg is a firm believer in visualising your goals. As a successful venture capitalist and the founder of Hand of God Wines, which sells premium, small-lot wines from an Argentine winemaker, he has found a way to realise his own long-held aspirations.
乔恩·斯坦恩伯格（Jon Staenberg）坚信，想象能促成目标的达成。他是一位成功的风险投资人，也是 Hand of God Wines 公司创始人，该公司销售出自阿根廷酿酒师之手的高档、小批量葡萄酒。他发现了一个实现自己长期愿望的好办法。
Staenberg likens getting what you want to staging a house you want to sell.
斯坦恩伯格将实现梦想比作筹划卖掉想卖掉的房子。
You make the sale far easier if you fill the house with gorgeous rented furniture and light a few candles, rather than show it empty.
如果你能在房子里摆满租来的富丽堂皇的家具，再点上一些蜡烛营造气氛，与空房子相比，这样的房子就要好卖得多。
"Provide the vision. Provide the staging. You've got to put it out there and not assume that people you work with know what you want," he said.
“建立愿景，用心筹划。你要设法让大家了解你的想法，而不要想当然以为合作者会知道你想要的东西”，他这样认为。
And, says Staenberg, a vision is best hatched after you've taken time to get quiet and listen attentively to your thoughts.
斯坦恩伯格还表示，只有你花时间静下来思考，倾听内心深处的想法，才能孕育出最好的愿景。
It can take long hours of deliberation and difficult rounds of confronting yourself about why you want something and what it's good for. Being honest with yourself is critical.
面对自己为何想要什么东西以及得到有什么好处这样的问题，可能要花很长时间考虑，做出艰难的抉择。首先，对自己诚实是最重要的。
Then, you have to believe that your dream will come true. This strong belief will become apparent to others in the way you speak — for instance, as you explain why that plum assignment abroad was made for you.
然后，你还必须相信自己一定会梦想成真。这种坚定的信念通过你说话的方式将流露给他人，例如，你在说明国外美差非你莫属时就是如此。
Staenberg, who began his career at Microsoft but wanted to move into venture capital, used this technique himself. During his seven years at Microsoft, he was planting the seeds needed to make the transition he envisioned.
斯坦恩伯格的职业生涯始于微软公司，但却想转行进入风险投资行业，他就是利用这个技巧如愿以偿的。在微软工作的七年间，他就已埋下愿望的种子，最终他梦想成真。
Communicate effectively
有效沟通
Of course, it’s not enough to visualise your goals, said Christiane Barho, a coach, communication trainer and workshop facilitator near Frankfurt. "Often, people have a cinema of the mind playing in an eternal loop," Barho said. They are unable to put their plan into action because they face real or perceived external blockers or obstacles.
当然，光凭想象自己的目标还不够，克丽丝汀·巴尔胡（Christiane Barho）如是说。她是法兰克福附近的一位沟通培训师兼讲座主讲人。巴尔胡说：“人们心里的想法往往在不停地打转，总也转不出来。”他们无法将计划付诸实施的原因是，他们要面对切实存在或他们所认为存在的外部困难或障碍。
You can break yourself out of this loop in a really simple way: talk openly, clearly, and effectively about what it is you want with those people who can help you.
有一个很简单的方法能帮你突破自己内心的藩篱：坦白、清楚、有效地告诉那些能帮助你的人，你想要的到底是什么。
"When you know what your motive is and you know the interest of your counterparts, then you can translate what you want into the terms of the [other person],” Barho said.
巴尔胡说，“知道自己的动机是什么，也知道合作者的兴趣所在，然后，你就能把自已想要的转化为（对方）感兴趣的话题。”
It’s easier to get what you want if both parties are convinced you want the same thing, be it an actual outcome, like the chance to lead a new project, or a shared vision. “It's called establishing the common goal frame."
如果双方都相信你想要的东西，那么你就更容易如愿以偿，无论你想要的是实际的结果是领导一个新项目的机会，或者是一个共同的愿景，都不例外。“这叫做建立共同目标框架。”
Adapt your asking
调整你的要求
For many people, just getting to the point of asking for what they want can be difficult. Cultural norms and even specific settings can impact how the conversation goes, said Moritz Ostwald, an executive coach based in Frankfurt.
对许多人而言，提出自己的要求会很难。法兰克福高管教练莫里茨·奥斯瓦尔德（Moritz Ostwald）认为，文化习俗乃至特定环境都会影响对话的走向。
In Germany, for instance, people may dance around sensitive matters out of politeness and are reluctant to do anything that could be perceived as self-promotion. This is, of course, in contrast to the reputation Germans have for being direct. But, when it comes to selling themselves, Germans can be shy about asking, Ostwald said.
例如在德国，人们会出于礼貌而围绕敏感话题绕圈子，不愿做任何会被认为是自我推销的事情。当然，这与德国人直率的名声形成了鲜明的对比。奥斯瓦尔德说，可是，在涉及自我推销时，德国人却会羞于启齿。
"People are afraid to plain out ask for what they want because they have fear of being rejected. In the US, you ask for what you want again and again until you get what you want. Here, it's almost like an offence. If someone says 'no' to my ideas, wishes or hopes that can have devastating consequences,” he said. “The value of being in harmony, of all supporting each other, of wanting to be a good citizen, is very common here."
他说：“人们害怕直接提出自己的要求，是因为担心会遭到拒绝。而在美国，人们会反复提出要求，直到自己如愿以偿。在德国，这却会被视为冒犯行为。如果有人对我的想法、愿望或希望说‘不’，结果就会很糟糕。”奥斯瓦尔德说，“彼此和谐、相互支持，想要做个好公民的价值观在德国司空见惯。
Meanwhile, in many Asian cultures, it’s uncommon to ask for something unless you're very sure you'll get it. "Because people don't want to lose face, they are more careful in building a case and having compelling reasons to ask for something specific," Ostwald said.
与此同时，在许多亚洲文化中，除非你很有把握得到自己想要的东西，否则，提出什么要求就非同寻常。因为人们不愿丢脸，所以他们做出设想时会小心翼翼，有迫不得已的理由才会提出具体的要求。”
Work harder and be persistent
努力工作，持之以恒
Master askers don’t stop at visualising, articulating and building their case. Along the way, they put in hours of hard work as they nurse their vision into fruition.
善于提出要求的人不会放弃自己的想象、构建自己的要求。他们会付出百倍的努力，将自己梦想变为现实。
"Getting to where you want to go doesn't happen in a second. It involves running into walls, going upstairs, downstairs and even sometimes creating the doorways,” Staenberg said.
斯坦恩伯格说，“要美梦成真不是一朝一夕的事情。实现梦想的过程不仅会有碰壁、高低起伏，有时还会打开新的机遇之门。”
After investing in more than 200 companies as a VC, many young people knock on Staenberg’s door looking for a start. Sometimes he turns them down on purpose, even if he's impressed. Staenberg's goal: to see if the person comes back again with a refined idea or a clearer vision of what they want, whether that's a job or seed funding.
斯坦恩伯格作为风险投资人，投资了 200 多家公司，许多年轻人创业之始都会求助于他。有时候，即使已经被打动，他也会故意拒绝他们。斯坦恩伯格的目的是，看看他们会不会带着改良的想法或是更明确的愿景回头再来找他，无论他们是找工作还是寻求种子基金都不例外。
"I want to know how committed someone is to their idea and that it's not just some random idea — the idea du jour," he said. If the person reappears with the idea developed further and can show why he or she can succeed, Staenberg is all ears.
他说：“我想要知道，他们对自己的想法有多么坚定，这种想法不是他们拍脑袋的的想法，而是经过深思熟虑得来的。”如果他们会带着深入挖掘的想法再次登门，并说明其为什么会成功，斯坦恩伯格将洗耳恭听。
This is also what Staenberg did with his wine business. He wanted to sell his wine in Seattle but found it difficult to get it on the menus of restaurants there. So, he turned the proposition on its head. He approached local chefs with the idea of holding culinary evenings in event spaces to highlight his wine, and asked them to provide show cooking.
经营葡萄酒业务时，斯坦恩伯格也本着这种做法。他想在西雅图销售自己的葡萄酒，但却发现它们难以进入那里酒店的菜单。于是，他彻底改变自己的主张。他找到当地的大厨，告诉他们在各种场所举办烹饪之夜活动的想法，突出自己葡萄酒的作用，并请他们在现场做烹饪表演。
The idea took off. Now participating chefs get a publicity boost and Staenberg sells his Malbecs and other varieties at events in Seattle. Chefs recently featured include Roy Breiman of Cedarbrook Lodge and Ethan Stowell, who has multiple restaurants.
这个想法被付诸实施。现在，在西雅图的各种活动中，大厨们有机会进行自我宣传，而斯坦恩伯格也能推销自己的梅贝克红酒和其他产品。大厨们最近风头正劲，包括来自希德布鲁克洛基酒店（Cedarbrook Lodge）的大厨罗伊·布雷曼（Roy Breiman） 和大厨伊桑·斯托威尔（Ethan Stowell），后者拥有多家餐厅。
"If it's authentic and true, the goal you are working toward will be met. The goal is your path. So often, people don't spend the upfront time to be quiet with themselves and contemplate the goal."
“如果你努力的目标真实可信，就一定会实现。目标就是你努力的方向。但实际上，人们往往却不会事先静下来花时间思考，对自己的目标深思熟虑。