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丢掉电脑,甩掉男朋友上大学

Ditch Your Laptop, Dump Your Boyfriend
丢掉电脑,甩掉男朋友上大学

College is your chance to see what you’ve been missing, both in the outside world and within yourself. Use this time to explore as much as you can.

上大学给了你一个机会去正视自己的缺点,这当中既包括你在走进这个社会时欠缺了什么,也包括你个人的缺陷。你要利用这段时间,尽可能去探寻自我。

Take classes in many different subjects before picking your major. Try lots of different clubs and activities. Make friends with people who grew up much poorer than you, and others much richer. Date someone of a different race or religion. (And no, hooking up at a party doesn’t count.) Spend a semester abroad or save up and go backpacking in Europe or Asia.

你要上各种课程,然后再选定自己的专业。你应该尽可能尝试不同的社团和社会活动。既要结交家境远不如你的同学,也要结交出身比你优裕得多的同学。试试跟不同人种或信仰不同宗教的同学约会。(还有,在派对上亲热一番做不上正式交往。)用一个学期出国看看,或者存够了钱,去欧洲或亚洲背包旅游。
 

Somewhere in your childhood is a gaping hole. Fill this hole. Don’t know what classical music is all about? That’s bad. Don’t know who Lady Gaga is? That’s worse. If you were raised in a protected cocoon, this is the time to experience the world beyond.

在你的童年生活中必定存在某个缺口,填补上这个缺口。你不知道古典音乐为何物?这很糟糕。你不知道谁是Lady Gaga?这更要命。如果你是在一个温室里被人悉心呵护长大的,是时候走出来,了解外面的世界了。

College is also a chance to learn new things about yourself. Never been much of a leader? Try forming a club or a band.

读大学还为你提供了一个机会,去了解你不知道的自我。过去你没怎么担任过领导者的角色?你可以试着组建一个社团或乐队。

The best things I did in college all involved explorations like this. I was originally a theater major but by branching out and taking a math class I discovered I actually liked math, and I enjoyed hanging out with technical people.

读大学时我做出的最有成就的事情,就是从事各种探索与尝试。我原本主修的专业是戏剧,但在上了一门数学课后,我发觉自己原来很喜欢数学,也喜欢与做技术的人打交道。

By dabbling in leadership — I ran the math club and directed a musical — I learned how to formulate a vision and persuade people to join me in bringing it to life. Now I’m planning to become an entrepreneur after graduate school. It may seem crazy, but it was running a dinky club that set me on the path to seeing myself as someone who could run a business.

我也磨炼了自己的领导能力,通过管理一个数学社团、导演一场音乐剧,我学会了怎样明确表达自己的想法,并说服大家和我一起将设想变成现实。现在我打算在研究所毕业后去创业。听起来有点疯狂,但正是组织一个小得不起眼的社团的经历让我发现,我是能够打理好一门生意的。

Try lots of things in college. You never know what’s going to stick.

读大学时,尽可能尝试做各种事情。说不定哪件事就能成就你。

— TIM NOVIKOFF, Ph.D. student in applied mathematics at Cornell

—蒂姆·诺维科夫(Tim Novikoff),康奈尔大学(Cornell)大学应用数学系博士生

• • •

Chances are, if you are taking the time to read this advice, you already have the quality necessary to undertake the intellectual challenges of a college education — a seriousness of purpose. What I want to speak to is much more mundane, but it will make your transition into college easier: amid the thrill and vertigo of change, be kind to and patient with yourself.

如果你正在花时间读这段建议,很有可能你已经具备了迎接大学教育的智力挑战所必需的品质——严谨求知的精神。我想要谈的这几点听来很寻常,但可以让你在适应大学生活时感觉轻松些:面对一系列变化,你一定会感觉目眩神迷,你要对自己好一点,耐心一点。

Remember to take some time away from campus — from the demands of schoolwork and the trappings of the college social life. Explore the town you’re living in. Meet people who are not professors or fellow students. If you spend all of your time on school grounds, then it becomes too easy for the criticism from an occasional unkind professor or the conflict with a roommate to take on a monstrous scale. And to let that happen is to suffer from a mistake of emphasis; college should be a part of, but not the entire scope of, your existence for the next few years.

你要记得找些时间走出校园,离开沉重的功课和大学社交生活的陷阱。你可以去探寻下自己生活的这座城市,见一见大学教授和同学以外的人。假如你把所有时间都投入到校园中,那么,来自一位偶尔不那么友善的教授的批评,或者与室友发生的冲突,很有可能会被你摆在一个过高的高度上。你的问题是没有找到真正的生活重心:在接下来的这几年来,大学当然会是你生活中的一部分,但并不是全部。

In Virginia Woolf’s novel “Mrs. Dalloway,” characters are troubled and traumatized by their inability to maintain a proper “sense of proportion”; ordinary tasks — life itself, for one of the characters — become outsized and unmanageable.

在弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙(Virginia Woolf)的小说《达洛卫夫人》("Mrs. Dalloway")中,书中人物因为无法保持适度的“比例感”而感到困扰乃至痛苦不堪;普普通通的任务——对其中一个角色来说,是生活本身——被放大,难以应对。

I mention this not because I think your situation will be so dire if you don’t heed my advice, but mostly because “Mrs. Dalloway” is a great read, and I highly recommend it.

我提到这一点,倒不是说假如你不听我的建议,处境就会变得一团糟,主要是因为我觉得《达洛卫夫人》真是一本非常好的书,我诚意推荐你去读一读。

— WILLIE X. LIN, student in the M.F.A. program in creative writing at Washington University in St. Louis

—威利·X·林(Willie X. Lin),圣路易斯华盛顿大学(Washington University in St. Louis)艺术硕士项目创作班学生。

• • •

Universities are places where facts are made. Research is a collaborative process, so scientists need lab assistants, humanities researchers need library aides and graduate students need all the help they can get. A curious, competent undergraduate can always find work assisting a researcher.

大学是探寻真理的地方。研究是一个需要通力合作的过程,所以科学家需要实验室助理,人文研究需要图书馆助理,而研究生需要获取各种帮助。一位好奇而又有能力的本科生总能找到研究助理的工作。

Regardless of the field and the specific project, helping them helps you. The obvious benefits are new skills and invaluable experience. But there is also something powerful in seeing how the right experimental or analytical approach can sort through a mess of observations and opinion to identify real associations between phenomena, like a gene variant and a disease, or a financial tool and the availability of credit. With a window into the world of research, you will find yourself thinking more critically, accepting fewer assertions at face value and perhaps developing an emboldened sense of what you can accomplish.

无论工作的领域和项目为何,帮助他们就是帮助你自己,你能从中得到的最显著的好处就是获得了新的技巧和难能可贵的经验。此外,你也能亲眼看到,研究者如何能通过正确的试验或分析方法,从纷繁的观察与想法中厘清现象间真正的联系,比如一个基因变异与一种疾病之间,或者金融工具和信贷可获量之间的联系。你可以通过一扇窗窥见广阔的科研界,你将能批判的眼光思考问题,更少从表面价值去判断是否接受某些主张,或许你还会发现自己更有勇气去面对自己能完成的事情。

Most important: research experience shows you how knowledge is produced. There are worse ways to prepare for life in an information age.

最重要的是:科研经历会让你明白知识是如何产生的,这能更好地让你面对信息时代的生活。

— AMAN SINGH GILL, Ph.D. student in the ecology and evolution department at Stony Brook University

—阿曼·辛格·吉尔(Aman Singh Gill),纽约州立大学石溪分校(Stony Brook University)生态与进化系博士生

• • •

Devices have become security blankets. Take the time to wean yourself.

移动设备已经成为了学生们的安全毯(security blanket,指会让婴幼儿获得安全感的柔软毯子)。你得让自己慢慢断奶了。

Start by scheduling a few Internet-free hours each day, with your phone turned off. It’s the only way you’ll be able to read anything seriously, whether it’s Plato or Derrida on Plato. (And remember, you’ll get more out of reading Derrida on Plato if you read Plato first.) This will also have the benefit of making you harder to reach, and thus more mysterious and fascinating to new friends and acquaintances.

第一步是安排每天有几个小时完全不上网,同时关闭手机,只有这样你才能真正专注阅读,无论你读的是柏拉图(Plato)还是德里达(Derrida)论柏拉图。(还需要记住,如果你能先读一读柏拉图,再读德里达论柏拉图,一定会读出更多味道。)这样一来,人家想要联系上你也会更难,这无疑会给新朋友和熟人眼中的你平添几分神秘感和吸引力。

When you leave your room for class, leave the laptop behind. In a lecture, you’ll only waste your time and your parents’ money, disrespect your professor and annoy whoever is trying to pay attention around you by spending the whole hour on Facebook.

去教室时,把笔记本电脑留在宿舍。在课堂上,如果你花整节课的时间上脸书(Facebook),这只会浪费你的时间和家长的金钱,既不尊重老师,也会干扰旁边想要专心听课的同学。

You don’t need a computer to take notes — good note-taking is not transcribing. All that clack, clack, clacking ... you’re a student, not a court reporter. And in seminar or discussion sections, get used to being around a table with a dozen other humans, a few books and your ideas. After all, you have the rest of your life to hide behind a screen during meetings.

记笔记没必要用电脑——好的课堂笔记并不是做抄抄写写的功夫,别一个劲噼啪噼啪敲击键盘了……你是学生,不是法院书记官。同时,在参加研论会或进行讨论时,你得习惯坐在桌子前,身边是十几个跟你一样活生生的人、几本书和几个奇思妙想。说到底,今后你还有大半辈子能在参加会议时把脸藏在电脑后面。

— CHRISTINE SMALLWOOD, Ph.D. student in English and American literature at Columbia

—克里斯汀·斯莫尔伍德(Christine Smallwood),哥伦比亚大学(Columbia)英语和美国文学系博士生

• • •

First-years are under an unbelievable pressure not only to succeed, but to excel in college. They walk into a university already feeling guilty that they don’t know what they want to major in, or what their career path is going to be. But be comfortable with the fact that you don’t know anything. Nobody does.

大学新生要承受难以想象的沉重压力,他们不仅想成功迈过这一年,还想在学校里出类拔萃。在走进校园,却仍不知道想主修什么专业,或者想做哪一行时,他们已经感到很难为情了。但是,你得接受这个事实:你并非全知全能,谁都办不到这一点。

During my first week in art school, I sat in a dark lecture hall as a professor asked questions I couldn’t answer and showed slides I couldn’t identify. I felt as if I was the only one in the room who didn’t have a clue. So, when my drawing teacher invited several of us students to a potluck dinner at her house, I was still worried that I was out of my league. But in this casual setting, everyone opened up, and I was able to talk about art in the most relaxed and personal way.

在读艺术学院的第一个星期,我坐在一间阴暗的大讲堂里,老师问到了我根本回答不了的问题,放映了我完全不知为何物的幻灯片。我觉得自己是这个教室里唯一晕头转向的学生。所以,等到绘画课老师邀请我们几个同学去她家,每人带一个菜聚餐时,我仍然忧心忡忡,觉得自己完全跟不上大部队。大家轻松地聚在一起时,每个人都敞开了心扉,我终于能轻松地从个人的角度谈起艺术。

As we returned to the dorms in the back of our now-favorite professor’s pickup truck, I remember looking up at the night sky and the trees whizzing by and thinking, “This is what college is supposed to feel like!” Relax and enjoy the ride.

后来我们挤在老师(现在她已经成为我们最喜欢的老师)的皮卡车后箱,一起回到宿舍,到现在我还记得,当时我仰面看到夜空和不断倒退的树木,心里想,“上大学的感觉就应该是这样啊!”放轻松,享受这段旅程。

— EVAN LaLONDE, student in the M.F.A. program in contemporary art practice at Portland State University

—埃文·拉朗德(Evan LaLonde),波特兰州立大学(Portland State University)艺术硕士项目当代艺术实践专业学生

• • •

During the first few months of college, everyone wants to make friends. But no one knows how to do it, so everyone is really friendly all the time. You are likely to find yourself feigning interest in and enthusiasm for a lot of things to ingratiate yourself with your peers. “You’re a semiprofessional mime? So cool. Where are you going out tonight?”

上大学的头几个月,每个人都想结交朋友,但没人知道该怎么做,所以在那会儿,所有人真的都非常友善。为了讨好同学,你很可能会假装自己对很多事物拥有浓厚的兴趣与热诚。“你是半职业的哑剧演员?太酷了。你今晚打算去哪儿呢?”

Eventually, mercifully, it all shakes out. Parties, activities, dorms and classes help you find people you actually like to talk to. That is, unless you’re in your room every night, on the phone with your high school sweetheart, who’s back home or at another school. Or worse, you’re leaving school every other weekend to visit your significant other. Break up.

好在大家不用一直这样下去。派对、课外活动、宿舍生活和各类课程都有助于你认识真正愿意倾谈的朋友,不过,前提是你别天天晚上宅在寝室里,跟高中时代相爱、现在留在老家或者上了另外一所大学的恋人煲着电话粥。更糟糕的情况是每隔几个礼拜你就要离开学校一次,跟恋人相聚。分手吧。

You should break up soon because you are likely to break up over Thanksgiving, anyway. You’ll give it an earnest try, but you’ll start to resent each other for forming new attachments, for not really “getting” what it’s like at your respective schools, for being the reason you’re both missing out on important experiences, like the hectic social sorting that’s happening right now. Worse, other people will punish you for missing out: “Oh, yeah, the joke is kind of hard to explain. See, it started that weekend you were out of town.”

你应该快刀斩乱麻,因为反正你们都会在感恩节前后分手的。你们想要努力维系这段感情,但没过多久你们就会互相埋怨,控诉对方移情别恋,控诉对方没法“理解”你们学校的情况,控诉对方拖了你的后腿,害你没法参加一些重要的活动,比如时下正热的社交联谊活动。更要命的是别的同学也会欺负你,因为你老是不在场:“噢,没错,这个段子实在没法跟你解释。你知道吧,那是你离校的那个周末传开的。”

Going to the same college as your significant high school other will not necessarily solve the problem. This is what happened to me. My boyfriend didn’t like my new “scene”; I panicked because I felt that we were spending too much time — then too little time — together. We limped through the first two months of the first semester before we called it quits.

与高中恋人上了同一所大学,也未必能解决这个难题。我自己深有体会。男朋友不喜欢我的新“舞台”,而我也始终心烦意乱,起初我是觉得我俩在一起相处的时间太长了——后来又觉得太短。读大一的前两个月,我们一路磕磕绊绊,终于决定分手。

The college year went by, bringing a lot of new people and priorities into our separate lives. The following fall, we realized that all our growing pains had not diminished what was a very precious connection. We ended up getting back together and staying together through the rest of college. But we had to break up first.

大一的这一年就这样继续,我们分别认识了许多新朋友,生活重心也有了变化。到了第二年秋天,我们发觉成长的阵痛并未削弱存留在心中宝贵的情谊。于是我们复合了,一起度过了剩下的大学时光。但是,首先需要分手才能复合。

— REBECCA ELLIOTT, Ph.D. student in the sociology department at the University of California, Berkeley

—丽贝卡·艾略特(Rebecca Elliott),加州大学伯克利分校(University of California, Berkeley)社会学系博士生
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