“就像胸口压了一块铁砧”:感染新冠病毒是怎样的感受
There is a clinical list of Covid-19 symptoms that includes a dry cough, a fever and shortness of breath. And then there is how the disease actually feels. It is like a lengthy hangover. An anvil on your chest. An alien takeover. It is like being in a fight with Mike Tyson.
Covid-19的临床症状包括干咳、发烧和气短。而这种疾病给人带来的种种真切感觉,就像一场漫长的宿醉;就像胸口压了一块铁砧;就像被外星人接管;就像和迈克·泰森(Mike Tyson)打了一架。
More than a million people in the United States have become unwilling hosts to the coronavirus. We spoke with some who were sickened by it — in many cases severely — and have since recovered. In vivid terms, they described what it was like to endure this scary and disorienting illness.
在美国,一百多万人不情愿地成了这种冠状病毒的宿主。我们采访了一些患者——其中许多人病情严重,但后来都康复了——他们生动地描述了患上这种可怕的、令人困惑的疾病究竟是什么样的感受。
Aaron M. Kinchen
亚伦·M·金辰(Aaron M. Kinchen)
Mr. Kinchen, 39, is a hairstylist in film production in Jersey City.
39岁的金辰先生是泽西城的电影行业发型师。
I woke up with a headache that was Top 5 of my life, like someone inside my head was trying to push my eyes out. I got a 100.6-degree fever.
我醒来时头痛得厉害,可以列入这辈子最痛的五次之一,就好像脑子里有人想把我的眼睛推出去。我烧到100.6°F(约合38.1°C)。
The fever went away, and then I had nausea and a metallic taste in my mouth. I was hungry, and then the taste of food was unappetizing. I put some onions in the Instant Pot to sauté. I put my face in the pot, but I couldn’t smell the onions. I had the runs — that lasted a couple of days.
退烧后我觉得恶心,嘴里有金属味。我饿了,但是食物的味道让人倒胃口。我在即食锅里放了点洋葱炒了炒。我把脸伸进锅里,还是闻不到洋葱的味道。我还拉肚子——持续了几天。
My partner had a cough and shortness of breath. I would just start sobbing. I was totally freaked out. We got nasal swabs together, and it felt like they took a piece of our brain.
我的伴侣也咳嗽,呼吸急促。我有时会哭。我吓坏了。我们一起做了鼻咽拭子,感觉就像取走了大脑的一部分。
My partner got his results in 10 days. I got mine in 22.
我的伴侣在10天内拿到了结果。我是在22天后拿到的。
LaToya Henry
拉托娅·亨利(LaToya Henry)
Ms. Henry, 43, owns a public relations firm in Lathrup Village, Mich.
43岁的亨利女士在密歇根州拉斯拉普村拥有一家公关公司。
It happened so fast. On Monday, I am in the parking lot of my allergist’s office with back pain and a cough that I thought was a sinus infection. On Saturday, I am in an ambulance headed to an emergency room.
事情发生得太快了。周一那天,我在我的过敏医师的诊所停车场里,觉得背部疼痛,还有点咳嗽,我以为是鼻窦感染。周六,我就坐着救护车去了急诊室。
Three days later, the doctors placed me in a medically induced coma and put me on a ventilator. I was in the hospital for two weeks.
三天后,医生用药物使我昏迷,还给我接上了呼吸机。我在医院住了两个星期。
Everything hurt. Nothing in my body felt like it was working. I felt so beat up, like I had been in a boxing ring with Mike Tyson. I had a fever and chills — one minute my teeth are chattering and the next minute I am sweating like I am in a sauna.
浑身上下都难受。身体感觉不到任何部位还是好的。我感觉要散架了,就像和迈克·泰森打了一场拳击。我又发热又发冷——前一分钟牙齿还在打颤,下一分钟就像在蒸桑拿一样出汗。
And the heavy, hoarse cough, my God. The cough rattled through my whole body. You know how a car sounds when the engine is sputtering? That is what it sounded like.
还有嘶哑的狂咳,天哪。咳嗽咳得撕心裂肺。你知道汽车引擎发出的声音吗?就是这种感觉。
My sister kept telling me to fight. All I could do was pray because my body had gone kaput.
我的家人一直鼓励我要坚强。我能做的就是祈祷,因为我的身体已经不行了。
David Hammer
戴维·哈默(David Hammer)
Mr. Hammer, 45, is an investigative reporter in New Orleans.
45岁的哈默先生是新奥尔良的一名调查记者。
On Day 10, I woke up at 2:30 a.m. holding a pillow on my chest. I felt like there was an anvil sitting on my chest. Not a pain, not any kind of jabbing — just very heavy.
第10天,我在凌晨2:30醒来,胸前抱着一个枕头。感觉就像有铁砧压在胸口上。没有疼痛,没有任何刺痛——只是很沉重。
When I told my wife I had this terrible pressure in my chest, she was like, “Sit up.” She made me some tea, and told me to cough.
我告诉妻子我感觉胸部的压力很大,她说,“坐起来。”她给我沏了些茶,让我咳出来。
I’ve never really had a panic attack before, but I’d never felt anything like this. I started to feel tingling in my fingers and my extremities, and I’m thinking, “This is a heart attack.”
我以前从来没有经历过恐慌症发作,但是当时那种感觉是前所未有的。我的手指和四肢开始感到刺痛,我想,“这是心脏病发作了。”
What I was experiencing was not extreme difficulty breathing — it was panic about whether I had extreme difficulty breathing.
我经历的并不是呼吸极度困难,而是对是否出现呼吸极度困难的恐慌。
The thing that makes this so scary is that it is not linear, and the recovery is not linear.
可怕的是,它不是线性发展的,复苏过程也不是线性发展的。
Ruth Backlund
露丝·巴克伦德(Ruth Backlund)
Ms. Backlund, 72, is a retired French teacher in Anacortes, Wash.
72岁的巴克伦德女士是华盛顿州阿纳科特斯的一名退休法语教师。
You’re just so paranoid because all these weird symptoms come up that you haven’t read about. There is such a wide range of symptoms that you just keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. You’re always asking yourself, “Is this the virus?”
你变得疑神疑鬼,因为所有那些从来没听说过的奇怪症状都在你身上出现了。有那么多症状,你只能等待另一只鞋子落地。你不停自问,“这是那种病毒吗?”
One of my friends started getting better — and then she ended up dying. Several people started feeling better, and then took a dive. So, you’re never really confident. For at least a couple of weeks, you’re just not, because it could go awry.
我有个朋友本来已经开始好转——然后她去世了。有几个人开始感觉好些了,然后又急转直下。所以,你从来不会真正有信心。至少好几个星期都不会,因为事情可能会出岔子。
I don’t ever want to get this again. It’s a pretty awful feeling. It’s just so weird the way you swear that it’s mutating in your body every day, trying something else.
我再也不想经历这种事了。这是一种非常可怕的感觉,你敢说自己的身体每天都在变异,又得经历些别的东西,真是太奇怪了。
Mark Backlund
马克·巴克伦德(Mark Backlund)
Mr. Backlund, 73, is a psychiatrist in Anacortes, Wash.
现年73岁的贝克伦德先生是华盛顿州阿纳科特斯的一名精神病医生。
It was just a loss of all energy and drive. There was no horizontal surface in my house that I didn’t want to just lay down on all day long.
感觉失去了所有的精力和干劲。我只想整天躺在家里,随便哪个平的地方。
I didn’t want to do anything. And my brain wasn’t working very well. I was calling it “the corona fog.”
我什么都不想做。我的大脑不怎么工作。我把这种感觉叫做“冠状雾”。
The L.A. Times actually sent a reporter and a photographer to our house and took a photograph of my wife at the piano and me with her singing. And I looked at the picture the next day, and I looked like Skeletor.
《洛杉矶时报》还派了一名记者和一名摄影师来到我家,拍了一张我妻子弹钢琴、我唱歌的照片。第二天我看了照片,感觉自己看上去像骷髅。
I just looked, and I thought, “I’ve got to start taking this seriously.” I had to slap myself in the face and say, “You’ve got to start eating, and you’ve got to start drinking.”
我看了又看,然后想,“我得开始认真对待这件事了。”我不得不扇自己一个耳光,说:“你必须开始吃东西。你必须开始喝东西。”
Jared Miller
贾里德·米勒(Jared Miller)
Mr. Miller, 27, lives in Brooklyn and is a general manager at a food delivery platform.
27岁的米勒住在布鲁克林,是一家食品外卖平台的总经理。
It felt like a very long hangover. Smelling something, getting nauseous. The headache. The overall weakness that your body feels, but more severe.
感觉就像宿醉了很久。闻到了什么,觉得恶心。头痛。身体整个感觉很虚弱,但还要更严重。
It was chills on a level that I’ve never experienced. Intense shivering. It was very hard to move. I had really intense body aches. It felt like I was in a U.F.C. match and beaten up.
那是一种我从没经历过的寒意。强烈地打颤。很难移动。身体疼得很厉害。感觉自己就像在打终极格斗的赛事,身体要散架了。
Doing anything other than laying in bed and sleeping was difficult. You had to be in the right position in order for your chest to not hurt. Or you had to be in a certain position in order to be able to take a full, comfortable breath.
除了躺在床上和睡觉,做任何事情都很困难。你必须处在合适的姿势,胸部才不会难受。或者你必须保持一个特定的姿势,这样才能充分、舒适地呼吸。
It’s like deep inside your chest. You feel it. Something is definitely inside of me, and I’m definitely infected with something.
它就好像在你的胸腔深处。你能感觉到它。肯定是有什么东西在我体内,我肯定是被什么东西感染了。
Clement Chow
克莱门特·周(Clement Chow)
Mr. Chow, 38, is an assistant professor of human genetics in Salt Lake City.
38岁的克莱门特·周是盐湖城的一位人类遗传学助理教授。
Walking made me lose my breath. I was just gasping. It felt like drowning.
走路让我喘不过气。我一直喘着粗气。感觉像是溺水了。
I was in the I.C.U. for my whole stay — five days. The scariest part was being alone. My wife dropped me off at the E.R. and then was asked to leave. I didn’t see her or my kids until I was discharged.
住院整整五天,我一直在重症监护病房里。没人陪伴是最可怕的地方。妻子把我送到急诊室后,被要求离开。直到出院,我才看到她和孩子们。
While in the I.C.U., I spent nights awake thinking about whether I was going to die. The first night they told me that they might have to intubate me, and I spent that whole night wondering whether I would ever see my family again.
重症监护期间,我整夜醒着,在想自己会不会死。第一晚,他们告诉我可能要给我插管,那一整晚我都在想,我还能不能再见到我的家人。
The physical pain was mostly taken care of by drugs and oxygen. But the loneliness was real. The staff, too — everyone was in P.P.E., so the interactions were very impersonal. I still don’t know what any of the staff look like.
药物和氧气大部分的作用是带走身体上的疼痛。但带不走孤独感。每个医护人员都穿着防护装备,因此互动也是极其非人化的。我仍然不知道任何医护人员的模样。
I did have great staff. They are amazing. Just didn’t realize that seeing people’s faces was so important to feeling safe.
我的医护都很棒。他们很了不起。只是我没有意识到,看到别人的脸对于安全感是如此重要。
Lauren Taylor
劳伦·泰勒(Lauren Taylor)
Ms. Taylor, 71, is a geriatric social worker in New York.
71岁的泰勒是纽约的老人照护社工。
My chest was tight, I was feverish, my appetite was going away and I had digestive issues. I lost seven pounds. I called my doctor, and she said I needed to go to a hospital.
我的胸部感到紧绷,发烧,没有食欲,消化也有问题。我掉了7磅体重。我给我的医生打电话,她说我需要去医院。
They put me in an isolation room, took my vitals, swabs and did a chest X-ray. It came back showing multifocal pneumonia. An E.R. doc said to me: “You can still breathe on your own. You’re better off going home. If something changes, let me know, but we are about to run out of equipment in six days.”
他们把我安置在隔离室,检测了我的各项体征,取了拭子,并照了胸部X光片。X光片显示多灶性肺炎。一位急诊室医生对我说:“你仍然可以自主呼吸。你最好回家。有什么变化就告诉我,但是我们的装备将在6天内用尽。”
My fever broke two weeks after the emergency room visit. There were a couple of days when I thought, “I’m not going to make it — this is taking over my body.”
从急诊室回来的两周后,我的高烧缓解了。有几天,我在想:“我要完了——这东西已经接管我的身体。”
I’m at the beginning of a very long recovery. Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling like I had difficulty breathing. The doctor said it was a scare, not a relapse.
我正处于一个非常漫长的康复的初始阶段。昨天早上,我醒来感觉呼吸困难。医生说这可能是一种恐慌,不是复发。
David Lat
大卫·拉特(David Lat)
Mr. Lat, 44, is a legal journalist and recruiter in New York.
44岁的拉特是纽约的法律记者和招聘者。
I was barely able to walk or even stand, perhaps from not getting enough oxygen. But luckily, I had enough strength to make it to my nearest emergency room, which is where I belonged.
我几乎没法走路,甚至没法站立,可能是因为氧气不足。但幸运的是,我有足够的力气走到离我最近的急诊室,那是我应该去的地方。
The intubation itself felt like a scene out of “ER” or “Chicago Hope,” one of controlled intensity. Attached to the ventilator, I slept for the next six days or so. I was later told that I woke up at various points, sometimes to try and remove the breathing tube or to write down questions. But I remember nothing of this.
插管本身感觉像是《急诊室的故事》(ER)或《芝加哥希望》(Chicago Hope)里的场景,有一种受控的紧张。连上呼吸机后,我睡了大约六天。后来,他们告诉我,我曾经几次醒来,有时试图拿掉呼吸管,或试着写下问题。但是我都不记得。
When I woke up, I felt like Rip Van Winkle. It was as if those six days never happened. In my first conversation with my husband after extubation, I returned to the exact same topic we had been discussing right before I was intubated: whether he could bring a duffel bag of clothes and books to the hospital.
醒来时,我感觉就像瑞普·凡·温克尔(Rip Van Winkle)。好像那六天从未发生过。拔管后与丈夫的第一次交谈中,我回到了插管前我们还在讨论的话题:他能不能拿一袋衣服和书到医院来。
Kadambari Wade
卡丹巴里·韦德(Kadambari Wade)
Ms. Wade, 44, lives in Chandler, Ariz., and works at a security and surveillance company.
44岁的韦德住在亚利桑那州钱德勒,在一家安保和监控公司工作。
I’ve never felt so bizarre. My body felt like it was not my own. I had crazy back pain. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t move my shoulders.
那是一种从未有过的怪诞感觉。我觉得我的身体不属于自己。我的背疼得要命。有时我感觉我的肩膀没法动。
I had a raw, dry cough, and the fevers spiked in the night. I have a C-section scar from 10 years ago that hurt again because I was coughing so much.
我会剧烈地干咳,晚上发高烧。由于咳嗽太厉害,10年前剖腹产留下的伤疤开始疼痛起来。
Everything I did left me feeling a little winded, and just the simple act of getting up and having a shower was tiring.
不管做什么都让我觉得喘不上气,光是起床和洗澡就会很累。
I had no appetite. I had to force myself to eat. I lost nine pounds.
我没有胃口。我强迫自己吃东西。我掉了9磅体重。
The only thing I can tell anyone else, especially people who don’t know what they have and who are wondering, is: “If you can get up and walk a little bit, walk two steps more. Just do whatever you can to keep moving.”
我唯一能告诉大家的是——尤其是不知道自己得了什么病并且想知道的人:“如果你能起身走几步,那就多走两步。尽你所能多走动。”
Thoka Maer
托卡·梅尔(Thoka Maer)
Ms. Maer, 35, illustrated this piece and is based in New York.
35岁的梅尔为本文绘制了插图,她在纽约生活。
It’s not like a common cold, where you feel a sore throat and sniffles. It just goes straight into your lungs, and you feel other symptoms coming from it.
这不像会喉咙痛流鼻涕的普通感冒。它直接进入你的肺部,你还会感觉到那里有其他的症状。
My stomach pain was so bad, it felt like I had appendicitis. I also had a bad cough, shortness of breath and a heavy feeling in my lungs. I slept 19 hours a day, and it still didn’t feel like enough.
我的胃痛得很厉害,感觉像得了阑尾炎。我也有严重的咳嗽,呼吸急促,肺部感觉很沉重。我每天睡19个小时,还是觉得没睡够。
When I started to recover, I lost my sense of smell and taste. It happened in one day.
开始恢复的时候,我失去了嗅觉和味觉。持续了一天。
The entire recovery process is two steps forward, one step back. You keep wondering the whole time, “Is this it?”
整个康复的过程是走两步,退一步。你会不断想:“这下好了吧?”
When it was over, I woke up feeling like a weight let go of me. It feels like I got a get-out-of-jail-free card now that I can move around outside a little more freely.
一切结束后,我醒来时感觉就像放下了一个重担。我感觉自己好像拿到了一块免死金牌,可以在外面稍微自由活动一下了。