好英语网办公室恋情：不成功便成仁！
Office romance is alive and well. Not surprising considering how much time we spend at work these days.
现在的办公室恋情颇为盛行。这也难怪，想想我们如今在工作中度过的大把时间吧。
Nearly 40% of workers in the US have dated a colleague at some point in their career, according to a recent CareerBuilder survey. And one-third of those relationships end in marriage.
据招聘网站 CareerBuilder 的一项最新调查，美国有近 40% 的职场人士都曾与自己的同事约会过，其中有三分之一的恋情最终圆满步入婚姻。
In Germany, the numbers are even higher where 60% of workers admit having been involved with a colleague, according to a survey from job portal kalaydo.de. In Japan, the numbers are much lower with only one in three workers having found love at work, according to a survey by global staffing firm Randstad.
在德国，这一数字甚至更高，据招聘门户网站 kalaydo.de 的调查，约 60% 的职场人士承认自己曾与同事恋爱过。在日本，这一数字则要低得多，据全球人力资源公司 Randstad 调查，只有三分之一的职场人士在工作中找到恋人。
But what happens if your office relationship goes sour? Is dating your gorgeous colleague really worth the risk? And, what if that person is your manager or junior – or even more complicated – married? Are you required to disclose this relationship to the company?
可如果办公室恋情告吹，情况会怎样呢？您真的值得冒险与迷人的同事约会吗？如果您恋上的人恰好是您的上司或是下级，甚至情况更为复杂，对方是已婚人士，您该怎么办呢？您会向公司透露这样的恋情吗？
Early days
恋情早期
For Kelly Finn, principal consultant with Boston-based talent acquisition firm WinterWyman’s Information Technology division, it made sense to keep her budding relationship quiet at first. Finn met her future husband while they were working in different divisions at WinterWyman.
凯莉·芬恩（Kelly Finn）在波士顿人才招聘公司 WinterWyman 信息技术部任职首席顾问，她在自己的办公室恋情还处于萌芽状态时秘而不宣，她认为这样做才明智。芬恩遇到自己未来的丈夫时，两人在 WinterWyman 的不同部门工作。
"We dated for eight months and didn’t tell anyone at the company," she said in an email. "The relationship was new and we didn’t want to be distracting or the subject of company gossip and drama."
她在电子邮件中写道：“我们约会了 8 个月，在此期间没有告诉公司里的任何人。我们的恋情才刚刚开始，我们不想被打扰，也不想成为公司里的八卦对象。”
But then a company-sponsored trip that both Finn and her future husband were scheduled to attend cropped up. "We knew things were serious and we didn’t want to hide our relationship on the trip, so we called a meeting with the company president and let him know first," said Finn. "We didn’t want him to hear about it through the grapevine."
但随后，公司组织了一次旅行，芬恩和未来的丈夫都被安排参加。芬恩说：“我们知道事情很严重，我们也不想在旅行中隐瞒我们的关系，于是，我们主动与公司总裁见面，先把情况告诉他，我们不希望他从小道消息听说这件事。”
Finn recommends telling senior management when the time feels right. "Assure them it will not affect your performance at work, and that you will handle the relationship professionally in the office," she said.
芬恩建议，在时机成熟时，要先把情况告诉高层管理人员。她说：“你要让领导放心，你们的恋情不会影响到工作，在办公室你会以职业态度处理恋情。”
Keeping it under wraps
做好保密工作
But not everyone chooses to kiss and tell. One third of workers who have had an office romance kept their relationship a secret at work, according to the CareerBuilder survey. "Whether or not you choose to keep it a secret, it is important to be discreet, professional and treat each other as colleagues at the office, and not as romantic partners," said Chicago-based Rosemary Haefner, CareerBuilder’s chief human resources officer, in an email. "Give each other some physical space and respect your fellow employees."
恋人们不会都选择公开恋情。据 CareerBuilder 的调查，三分之一的职场恋人会在工作中对恋情保密。芝加哥 CareerBuilder 公司首席人力资源官露丝玛丽·黑夫纳（Rosemary Haefner）在电子邮件中表示：“无论您是否选择公开恋情，很重要的一点是，要谨言慎行、保持职业精神，在办公室彼此要以同事相待，而不是恋人。要给彼此留出空间，还要尊重其他同事。”
Leave it at the door
不要把恋情带进办公室
Dating a colleague can be a great experience, according to Elaine Varelas, managing partner with Boston-based Keystone Partners, a career management firm. But you need to be cognisant of where you are.
波士顿职业咨询管理公司 Keystone Partners 执行合伙人伊莱恩·维埃拉（Elaine Varelas）表示，与同事约会可以是个美好的体验，但您需要认识到自己身处的环境。
"You have a lot in common and you see each other all the time, but one should remember to keep public displays of affection out of the office," she said in an email, as it can make others uncomfortable and make you appear totally unprofessional. "While work might be the place you met your true love, the business day is the time to work on work — not on your relationship."
她在电子邮件中写道：“您和恋人之间彼此共同点很多，又总能见面，但要记住的是，在办公室可不要公开示爱”，因为这样会让他人感到不安，也让您显得一点儿也不专业。“您可能会在工作中遇到真爱，但工作日的任务就是工作，而不是谈恋爱。”
Know the rules
懂得游戏规则
Rare is the worker who actually reads the company handbook. But if you are about to embark on a relationship with a colleague, this would be the perfect time to take a look at it. That way, you will know if there are any official guidelines on office romance, according to Varelas. "It's crucial to do this before you disclose your relationship to anyone, including human resources," she said. "You'll go into that meeting knowing what issues — if any — you will face."
几乎很少有人真的读过公司员工手册，但是，如果您要与同事谈恋爱，正好要抓紧时间看看手册了。维埃拉认为，这样您才能了解到公司对办公室恋情的规定。她表示：“在将恋情告诉他人之前您首先这样做很重要，包括告诉人力资源人员。你们在打算谈恋爱时就要认识到未来会面临的一系列问题（如果有的话）。”
And, depending on your company, you might not have the choice to keep it quiet, according to Austin, Texas-based Sharon Schweitzer, founder and chief executive officer of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide and a former employment lawyer. "It may violate the company’s sexual harassment prevention policy," she said in an email, particularly if one of you is more senior than the other. "You may be required to report that you are dating, and romantically involved.
前就业律师、美国德克萨斯州 Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide 公司创始人兼首席执行官莎朗·施韦策（Sharon Schweitzer）表示，根据所在公司的情况，您也许可以选择对恋情保密。她在电子邮件中表示：“办公室恋爱也许会违反公司防止性骚扰政策，如果您比恋人级别要高，情况就尤为如此。也许公司有要求，您需要将约会和恋爱情况报告公司。
And even though you may not be in the same department or division when you first start dating, positions can change, according to Schweitzer. "Keep in mind that you may be transferred and end up supervising your paramour in a different department," she cautioned.
尽管您和恋人开始约会时也许不在同一个部门，但大家的职位是会变化的。”“您要考虑到，您也许会被调动到恋人所在的部门，成为恋人的上司，”她警告说。
Transferring is one option. "If you fall in love, think seriously about transferring to a different department or even another company," she said. "Don’t damage your own career, that of your mentor and colleagues in the process."
寻求调动是一种选择。她表示，“如果您与恋上同事，就要认真想想调到别的部门甚至其他公司，不要因为谈恋爱害了自己的职业前程，还累及导师和同事。”
Can you handle the fallout?
您能承受这样的后果吗？
Remaining professional in the workplace is important, according to Dr. Lorraine Tilbury, founder of personal and professional development firm HorsePower International, based in the Loire Valley in France. But this can be challenging if the relationship ends. "You will still have to work together," she said. Ask yourself, "Are both parties mature enough to nurse their heartache in private, remain civil to each other in public and still meet their professional objectives?"
法国卢瓦尔河谷个人和职业发展咨询公司 HorsePower International 创始人罗琳·蒂尔伯里（Lorraine Tilbury）认为，在工作中保持职业态度非常重要，但如果您的办公室恋情告吹，做到这点就会很难。她说，“您和前恋人还是要一起共事”，您需要自问：“我们双方是否都成熟到足以私下解决心痛的问题？我们能否在公开场合依然对彼此彬彬有礼，继续达成各自的职业目标？”
Tilbury said that she has known colleagues who were on an emotional roller coaster because of office romance heartbreak – becoming depressed and physically absent because they couldn’t face seeing the person they had broken up with at work. "If the very thought of seeing your ex every day puts you in agony, you may want to avoid the idea of office romance in the first place," she said.
蒂尔伯里表示，据她所知，曾有同事因为办公室恋情破裂而情绪严重波动，因为无法在工作中面对前恋人而郁郁寡欢，导致缺勤。她说：“如果能想到分手后每天还要见到前恋人的痛苦不堪，您也许一开始就会避免办公室恋情了。”
Not just about you
不光关乎自己
For Rachel Sutherland, the risk was worth it after she met her future husband at The Battle Creek Enquirer, a small newspaper in Michigan. "My husband and I were young, but we were very serious about our work and knew going into our relationship that being in a relationship in such a small workplace could have negative implications," she said in an email. "That's why we took so much care to make sure we did it right."
对雷切尔·萨瑟兰（Rachel Sutherland）而言，显然值得冒险，她在美国密歇根州一家小型报纸“The Battle Creek Enquirer”工作时，遇到自己未来的丈夫。她在电子邮件里写道：“当时我丈夫和我都很年轻，我们对工作都看得很重，我们也知道，在这样一家小公司边工作边谈恋爱会产生负面影响。因此我们都小心翼翼，确保不会出错。”
But Sutherland said that she would have felt differently had it just been someone to pass the time with. "Break-ups are tough regardless of location," she added. "Having to see your ex while out with friends and at work is tough on you and your colleagues, and has the potential to sabotage your career if you're unable to handle the stress of the situation."
但萨瑟兰也表示，如果陪她度过那段时光的人没有最终成为自己的丈夫，她的感受也许就会完全不同。她补充道：“无论在哪里，分手都不容易。和朋友出去时见到前任不容易，在工作中不得不遇到前任对您和同事都不会容易，这种情况下，如果您无法化解压力，就可能累及职业生涯。”